Well, so to speak, anyway. I wasn't productive tonight photographically like I had hoped, but I did fix my nice bass earlier, then i played it for over an hour. Both of my hands even still work!
I figured out both why it was so quiet and why it was so hard to play - the strings were twice as far away from the neck at the 24th fret (second octave) as they are on my other bass. I had to let out a lot of neck tension, too - the neck was way too straight and needed relief. Basically, inverse squares being what they are, the output was a quarter as strong as it should have been, and it was taking twice a normal amount of effort at almost all frets to depress the string.
Second, as previously discussed here and here, I repaired my amplifier. This time, for real.
Want to know what the culprit really was?
Input jack was loose.
The moment I tightened that up, the horrible noises went away. I noticed this was a problem because as I was moving around while tethered to it, the sound would kick up again. "Hmm," I thought, and went over and felt the moving part. Ding! All better.
If not one artistic pursuit, then another.
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